When things seem to be going well, one muct always keep in mind that such situations are ephemeral. For me, things are crashing down, and I find myself in straights. In October, I began my job at the Greater Philadelphia Health Action clinic in Chinatown. The first two weeks were a training course, insyructing us in the use of the company’s system to createbpatient profiles and how to navigate them. It also taught us a bit about navigating the insurance data in the system. The short of it is that I failed the first time around. The information was complex and abstruse to me. My instructors all said that my problem was that I was too anxious, that I second-guessed myself, that I tried to answer questions before completely reading them. They were probably right. In any case, because I only missed by one point (a minimum of 90% was required to pass), I was given a second chance. I went through the training again, over two weeks, and retook the exam. I passed.
So, at the start of November, I began working at the Chinatown branch of GPHA. However, after three weeks, I was brought in for a verbal warning; I was making too many mistakes in my work, and was placed on a ‘performance improvement program.’ I worked at it. I woekd hard to improve. But last week, I was brought in again, this time for a written warning that my work was unsatisfactory. My next meeting will be on the 23rd of this month (December), at which time, I will either retain my job, or I will be dismissed. Honestly, I am not hopeful. I am frustrated and anxious. I don’t know why this is so difficult. My job for now is to check the insurance policies on patients who are coming in for service. It is very complex, and there are many things to pay attention to. but the kids with whom I went through training took to it as if it were nothing. And I do mean kids– these people could be my children, if not grandchildren. I have never before felt so stupid and incapable. Yes, it’s arrogant of me, but I am not used to not being good at something I set my mind to study. So, I am in danger, now.
SInce returning to America, I have lost most of my money. I returned from China with nearly USD$20,000.00 in savings. But, in the midst of my medical necessities, buying a car for transportation, rent and rental deposits, I have been reduced to a paycheck to paycheck economy. And now, in addition to that, my car just yesterday broke down as I was about to get onto the local highway. More expense I cannot afford. At a time when I may be losing my job.
I no longer have any relatives or friends on whose couches or spare rooms I might stay. I don’t know what I will do. Without insurance, I will not be able to afford the heart and blood pressure medicines I need to live. I have again begun looking for work in China, despite my age; I am desperately hoping to be able to return. We shall see. To that, although it is incredibly galling to me, I have begun a GoFundMe account to raise enough money to see me through for another couple of months, and hopefully a return to Asia.
Anything you can spare will help. I am thinking of trying to send ‘Thank Yous’ to those who contribute. Some of you know that I am a published author. I am thiking of offering one or more of my books as a kinf of thank you. For every $100, I would send a PDF of Medousa. For gifts of $50, I woulkd send a PDF of You Call This Living? or Life is a Fountain. And for $20, I could send a PDF of my poetry chapbook.
I continue to write my Gravity Falls fanfic. It is almost half complete, and completely plotted out. If you wish to support me with reads and votes, you can have a look at
When I have completed the story, I am planning to re-edit it and post a copy over at “An Archive of Our Own.”
I wish I had something more pleasant to post today, but I am at something of a crisis now. Any suggestions/advice/instruction regarding remote work that I can do from my own computer would be welcome also. I’ll post an update after my next meeting on the 23rd.
Nudnik Online 